I’m talking about something I call the “mulligrubs” — that weird, heavy feeling when you’re not exactly miserable, but definitely not great either. You know, when everything just feels off. I dive into some of the reasons we can land in a mulligrub state, like brain chemistry, crummy weather, chronic illness, and plain old mental overload. I also share a few strategies that help me shake it off (or at least soften it), like knocking out tiny tasks, getting my body moving, changing my environment, or just leaning into comfort. Most importantly, I remind you — and myself — that it’s okay to feel this way sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes the best thing you can do is name it, honor it, and give yourself a little grace. I’d love to hear your favorite ways to deal with the mulligrubs, too — let’s keep this conversation going.

High Liver Enzymes on Interferon: Why I Had to Stop Treatment – Ep. 33 – The Fine, But Not Fine Podcast

When you treat a cancer that can't be cured, you don't just manage the disease, you manage what the treatment does to the rest of you. My liver numbers climbed high enough that I had to come off my medication entirely. This episode is the cascade that followed: the referral, months of waiting, vials of blood, a FibroScan, and the relief of an answer.

1. High Liver Enzymes on Interferon: Why I Had to Stop Treatment – Ep. 33 13:25
2. 150 Appointments: What Rare Disease Treatment Actually Costs – Ep. 32 10:01
3. Two Days in the Halls of Power – Ep. 31 20:41
4. Inside Rare Disease Week: Taking Advocacy to Capitol Hill (Part 2), Ep. 30 08:06
5. Inside Rare Disease Week: A Patient Advocate on Capitol Hill (Part 1), Ep. 29 09:26

Transcript

You look fine, but you’re not fine, and that’s exactly what we’re here to talk about. Welcome to Fine, But Not Fine, the podcast about navigating rare disease healthcare battles and the messy reality of chronic illness. I’m Kelly Paul, and I’ve been living with Mycosis Fungoides since 2015. This is a space for real talk, real experiences and practical advice, because surviving is one thing, but figuring out how to actually live, that’s the hard part.

What are the Mulligrubs Anyway?

Hey everyone and welcome back. Today, I want to talk about the Mollygrubs, or the Mulligrubs. And what are they, you ask?

It’s that weird little funk where you’re not what I’d call full on miserable, but you’re also not great. You’re just kind of blah. And no, you don’t need a dramatic reason. It could be the weather. It could be your body doing who knows what, or maybe you woke up and just decided that you’re annoyed at life today, right?

No judgment. I’ve been there. I think we’ve all been there. So today, let’s talk about why the mulligrubs happen, how to deal with them, and when to just give yourself permission to sit in it for a bit.

The Mulligrub Self Assessment

All right, so let’s do a little self assessment. How do you know you have the mulligrubs? Here are a few telltale signs. You’ve opened the fridge like a dozen times, but you refuse to commit to eating anything. You’ve been Doom scrolling for 45 minutes and cannot remember a single post. You almost took a nap, but then you got mad at the idea of lying down and taking a nap. You put off replying to a simple text, because honestly, it just feels like way too much. Or, hey, you know what? You feel personally attacked by inanimate objects. Like, why is the microwave beep so aggressive today?

Why do the Mulligrubs Even Happen?

So what actually causes the mulligrubs?

Well, I did a little bit of digging, and there is actually some science out there to back some of this up. So brain chemistry, shenanigans, right?

Sometimes your serotonin just takes a day off and you’re left dealing with it, right? The weather, oh my gosh, if the sun has been MIA, your mood might follow in the winter, especially in northern areas. You know, seasonal affective disorder, it’s absolutely a real thing. There’s also chronic illness, exhaustion. I mean, if your body is always in some stage of Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, no wonder you have days where you are just absolutely done. There’s also mental overload.

Life is loud, stressful, demanding, and it’s perfectly understandable why your brain might say, Nope, we are out for the day. And you know, sometimes it’s just like random, no big explanation, no deeper meaning, just a weird little uninvited funk.

How to Handle the Mulligrubs

So the big question, what do you do when the mulligrubs hit? Because let’s be real. Some days you’ve just got to fight through it. Other days, you can sit in it and wait it out. And both are fine, but if you really want to shake it, here are some tricks that have worked for me a little bit.

The Bare Minimum Strategy

You know. First off is kind of like called a bare minimum strategy. Don’t aim for big wins. Just make the bed, brush your teeth, drink some water, right? Sometimes just doing one thing right can actually start sort of pulling you out of the funk, or at least getting you in a position to work through it.

Move (Even if You Don’t Want To)

Secondly, move, even if you hate it. And I know, I know the last thing anybody wants to hear when they have the mulligrubs is exercise helps. But sometimes just walking, getting outside for a few minutes, doing you know, some laps around your living room, something, sometimes just getting moving helps.

Change Your Scenery

You can change your scenery. If you’re stuck inside, I’m going to tell you get out. If you have been staring at your phone, put it down. If your brain is looping and negativity, shake it up. Go to a coffee shop, take a drive, you know, walk around, you know, Target or WalMart, aimlessly, whatever works for you.

Go for the Easy Wins

You can also do something really easy and really satisfying, right? Fold some towels, you know, delete 50 old emails, go through your junk email box, wipe down your kitchen counter. It sounds dumb, but sometimes small wins trick your brain into thinking, hey, we’re making progress, right?

Lean Into Comfort

I’m leaning into comfort. I mean, sometimes the best move, and I do this quite often, is just embrace the mulligrubs, put on a big sweatshirt, watch nostalgic TV, not you know, horror, drama, crime, you know, eat mac and cheese, whatever it is that brings you comfort in your world. No guilt allowed. You do not always have to be productive.

Text Somene Who Gets It

And another option is just talk to someone who gets it. Send a hey, I’m feeling meh text to a friend. Sometimes just acknowledging it out loud helps and bonus points to friends if they send you a dumb meme or some sort of same bro kind of reply.

Or Don’t Try to Fix it at All

And sometimes trying to fix some mulligrubs just makes them worse. So if none of the strategies are helping, maybe it’s just not the day to fight it right. If you need to, and you can let yourself have an off day. No shame in resting, no shame in doing absolutely nothing. Just don’t let the mulligrubs move in and take over for too long.

Final Thoughts

So final thoughts, mulligrubs, they happen. They don’t mean you’re failing. It’s not broken, not dramatic, they’re just there. And some days you push through, and some days you ride them out.

Either way, you’re doing fine. I mean, not fine, fine, but fine.

Now, if you like this episode, send it to a friend who also gets mulligrubs and let them know they are not alone. And if you have your own tricks for shaking off a funk, I would love to hear them.

You can hit me up at my website, at FineButNotFine.com. Or you can find me on Facebook at, Fine, But Not Fine. Now that’s it for today. Take care of yourself, and if all else fails, just eat some mac and cheese and call it a win.

Thanks for listening to Fine, But Not Fine. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. And if you got a story, question or just need to vent, reach out. I’d love to hear from you. Until next time, take care and keep on going.